Why even give any advice on any DB and 180? Just stick with the GAL and move on activities. I never undertook these posts. They tell you that there is very little chance of R, and the chances of MLCer to return to the M are very slim, but at the same time advice you taking steps to DB and this: “You want him to second guess his lack of commitment to the marriage.” BUT!!! “They usually do not return”!
Because it's not all about the person that leaves. And because if there is going to be a chance, that's a way to find out.
MLC is a hotly contested term in the psych world. Some buy into it and others don't believe it exists. Others, say that crisis is what happens during a mid-life transition. i.e. transitions can be tumultuous or they can be smooth. If the former, then the person often creates a "crisis" through their actions.
Another way to look at it is they are becoming (wholly) human during this transition. And it isn't always pretty.
I dunno about you, but GAL and DB together worked very well for me. Did I restore my marriage? Nope. But it wasn't mine to lose nor save. Did I save me? Abso-friggin-lutely.
25's advice is sound. The results are not always what is hoped for initially, but I've yet to see them be "bad". I've often seen the results be "good" for both parties, even mine. I don't talk to my ex and she doesn't talk to me, but I've seen where DB made a difference in my life, previous marriage, my ex, and in others.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
