BEClem... I can sympathize with you 100%. I am truly my own worst enemy throughout my M and ever since BD. The changes I should have been making, I only made worse. Mostly my emotional swings.
The more I read your last post, the more I get it. I think we are in the same boat. I've done everything in my power to sabotage reconciliation. Not understanding this until now. This is what people are talking about when they say work on yourself and detach.
Just like RAI said to me... we're both very reactive to our S moods. We need to be the Lighthouse. As I come out of the fog of denial... I need to see myself in the storm... as the lighthouse.
Best of luck to you. Nobody is without faults and the more mistakes we make, the harder it will be to reconcile or move on with our lives.
Cadet said in another thread that it is so much easier to be objective about other people's sitch... because we are detached. This really hit home for me.
M: 8 years, together 9 M: 41 W: 32 D 4, S 6 ILYBINILWY 2/10/15 2/14/15-2/22/15 Left home 4/5/15 Suspect A, Initiated Sandi's advice from WW thread 4/19/15 W asked for D
