Sorry about all what is happening. By the way, if H file for D, how long it may take to really sign the final paper in UK?
In my state in US, it's said that we can have a final D signed in three months, but most cases take longer then that because the courts are loaded with cases and they do not have many slots available. Basically, it is three months for people that agree they want a divorce and they do not have anything to split.
Another thing is that your H takes his sweet time to answer to anything and then I see you in some kind a hurry to decide on important issues. Maybe you just take your time and even tell him you need some time to have things done right for yourself.
Another one is why you both can't meet and discuss the situation? Here, we need to split everything... retirement accounts, house, cars, other properties if there is any, debt, and so on. I even have an old account in Switzerland and that we need to split too. I don't know how it is in UK, but if it is the same they there is always room for negotiation.
No, if I forget about the legalities. It seems that maybe your H is running out of money. Could it be? and that is why he wants to sell the house?
By your comments and his way of dealing with the sitch during this whole time, it just seems that the D is not the main frame for him, but the financial side of it.
If he is an MLC, then he is spending money without being careful with it. He is living today and not thinking about tomorrow. I read a book about MLC and there was a large chapter about the crazy stuff that the MLCers do with their money. Being extravagant, gambling, expensive presents to others, and so on. Could it be the reason? or you think it is his conscious decision to move forward with all this?
I also understand that in either way it is something you can't control. I agree with that answer of yours, even tough I think that after 10 years of marriage, I would think this is such an important subject, event, that it deserve to sit down and talk face to face about it.
You are not strangers, you are just choosing different paths. But you may know better what will work for you.
And that is what is most important. DO only things that works and pleases you. When it is about money, it's pure business and you have no interest of what about him, the only one that matters here is Toots.
You do not need to make any easy for him, you do not own him anything and you can stand tall to what "YOU" want. It's scary but it is not the end for anything. Your H has still a long road to walk and it will be very bumpy at times if not always. He is in crazy mode and I have this feeling that he needs money.
I wish you sleep well and find the best direction for yourself. You know I served D papers to my H back in february. It was scary and sad, but it does not change what is going on around my sitch.
I don't know if you read what I posted on someone else thread. I know this couple that a few years ago they separated and then got divorced. They sold their M house, split the money, they both bought another place and moved on. After 5 years they remarried, they sold their place and bought a house they plan to grow old together.
This is not some drama I read somewhere, this is real life, and this couple is very happy now. Crazy things happen, we just don't know if they will happen to us.
Toots is a strong woman that will endure the challenge. Toots is as sweet person that will be gentle with herself. Toots is a lovely person that will be loved by H or someone else, maybe even better then H. Toots is a gracious person and will face it all with dignity. Toots is Marvelous because Toots is Toots.
