I know your looking for some advice right now and was hoping someone would notice and add their thoughts. Due to your situation with your W being so different than what I'm familiar with, I'm a bit hesitant to offer any specific advice about those things. I think that's also why you haven't been getting much input so far, people comment on what they can relate with. Many of us have S's in A's, so certain actions make more sense to us than someone trying to avoid a W from leaving. For me I can just relate to your thinking and obsessing about things and offer what I've learned so far.
Have you read the book? I think it focuses more on this situation than what we mostly go through(going dark, LRT, etc)
1. "No, it's fine. I'd like to but I'll give you some space." I wouldn't state the reason as your giving her space. It also comes across as "I would like to go, but because of YOU I wont, so ill do what I think you want".
2. You cant fix her, she has to. The more you try the more it looks like your pursuing her. If space is what she wants, try to respect that.
3. Regarding moving out, I didn't realize you already told her you would. Have you told her you would move out or just offered to, if she wanted? I said the same to my W early and its only caused me issues. The decision I made recently was based on what I believe my best course and what my IC suggests, but still hasn't happened yet. For you, I wouldn't just try to move out thinking it will help.
4. MC is generally not useful once a S checks out of the M. I'm not sure if your W has fully or not, so not sure.
I will say this, my W also had issues being around me early on in the house and I stayed in the house all day and never went out. It didn't help me. You should find ways to get out of the house some days (not move out), but just GAL.
Last edited by Fogg; 05/15/1511:49 PM.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
