You may want to stop concurring with your W when she says something is "tragic". On this board, you can say something is tragic. We get it - and we agree. However, when you agree with your wife that what is happening is "tragic":
1) you make it sound like the events are totally out of her control. Again - your W has a choice. This is a calculated premeditated move by your W. There is no need to sympathize with your W as if her actions were preordained from on high. Being stricken with cancer is tragic, but going out of your way to D your H is not.
2) you make it sound like you are very devastated by what is happening. While I am sure you are devastated - we all are - you should not be telegraphing this to your W. It is the opposite of acting "as if". You need to really look like you are moving on, if you are serious about LRT. W does not need to see your sad face.
RAI
RAI, Thanks for the feedback! I have tried to employ a calculated approach, where at times I expose a little emotional vulnerability to STBX. Up until this point, I adopted a fairly stoic approach. Simply tried to modify and monitor results. However, I am open to and consider all suggestions.
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
