Coming back from my emotional abuse

[GoRoPo]

Thanks Fogg. VERY insightful, almost like you are inside my head! Yes, I do think and think and think. And obsess.

I am in individual therapy. I haven't had the "any port in the storm" suicide thoughts for a while now. I would never have considered myself suicidal, and especially could NEVER do that to my kids.

I live for my kids right now. A very tricky part for me has been, how to GAL when all I want to do is hang with the kids? I am perfectly fine giving wife space and practicing patience, but I also hate the feeling that she is "hiding" upstairs while I am down with the kids.

Those hours between my getting home from work and when the kids and wife go to bed seem arduous, heavy, and painful sometimes. Tension, eggshells. Sometimes they are fine though. Kind of just depends upon the wife's mental state.

Any suggestions for GAL while keeping the kids at the forefront? I don't want to go out with buddies every night or something... but I also know that I need to find something to help occupy me.