Just read up on your sitch and I think you are desperatly searching for something to do or say that will fix this, like many of us do when we first get here. Something that will shock her back. That is control and it will not work, you just think it will right now.
Your in panic mode right now and need to take a huge step back and relax some. I know what your going through is difficult, its likely one of the worst situations you will have to experience in life. Go back to those initial threads and read them. They are very helpful but when we first get to these forums we skim over them and start looking for the magic answer to fix it all. What you need for right now is in those threads.
PATIENCE
Stop snooping in her texts, its only going to cause you issues. Its only useful to protect yourself financially and your children, after that its just pain and control. The way you are using it now is to try and understand whats happening in her mind. I did/do the same, and it wont help. Trying to understand how she thinks wont help you right now, it will make you crazy. Resist it.
The reason you cant detach is because your thinking too much, again I do the same. You cant think your way out of this, or stop thinking about her. You have to replace those thoughts with someone else. This is why GAL is so important. We find things to occupy our time and mind to fill those times we would obsess.
Everyone has a different reason on why they should move out or stay, and most the advice is to stay, for many reasons. You wanting to leave is for the wrong reasons(shock her into missing you). You can give her space living together, but it takes alot of self control. Don't ask for those reassurances from her, it just pushes her away. Try to not have any relationship discussions with her. No expectations.
One more thing, if you are having suicidal thoughts get some help. BUT DO NOT USE GETTING HELP IN ANY WAY TO PROOVE/SHOW SOMETHING TO W, that will be a huge mistake. If things do start to get worse you need to make sure you are safe, your children need you regardless if you and W are together or not. It would be an extremely selfish thing to do to them, to end your own pain. Get help if you need it.
You can do this but you have to have patience, this may take much longer than you expect. You will learn you really have the gift of time, use it to work on yourself and let W do what shes going to do. This is your best chance to save your M. Look at you, not her.
Also, keep to 1 thread until it gets to 100 posts. Keep posting often and people will catch onto it and offer advice.
Last edited by Fogg; 05/15/1506:35 PM.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
