WAW-- LRT in action

[SadDood]

RAI-- Just wanted to say thank you for the response! Very on point. Looking back, I am definitely VERY reactive to her moods. I'm trying to be as introspective as possible and I realize I'm definitely still in some sort of denial about the whole situation. I need to let go of that part of me that thinks she's not really serious about this. It's kind of hard to explain because I feel like I've gone through all the stages of grief... a few times actually. I definitely need to accept what is happening and detach a lot further. I feel like I have come a long way, but still have a long way to go.

I can definitely tell I have a lot of repressed emotions. I sometimes forget that this is an anonymous message board where I can let my guard down. Just because I'm constantly telling myself to "act as if" in real life, doesn't mean I need to do it on here. It might not seem like it, but I really can tell I've come a long way. Instead of constantly thinking of my failed M, it's down to once every 10 minutes... and longer if I keep myself busy and occupied. The company I work for offers free counseling for employee's and I took the iniative to contact them. They arranged an appointment with a therapist that uses Equine Therapy. I'm open to any IC that will help get to the root of my issues. I've gone to the pseudo-shrink for meds, but haven't had any real IC. I think it will be helpful.

Like everyone, I have my good days and bad days. It seems like I post on here on my good days. I really do have a lot to be thankful for. My situation is nowhere near as bad as some of the other's I've read. W and I still communicate civilly and there has never been a real heated argument, not once. She is responsible for herself and the kids and isn't into substance abuse or anything else that I know of. I just talked to a friend whose H left after second child was born because he was hooked on Meth and she hasn't seen him in 2 years. He might be dead for all she knows. He ruined their house, her credit, her job, etc. As awful as her H is, I recognize that I had control issues coupled with depression issues, and taking everything for granted. Sadly, I never even recognized them as such. Generally, I always thought of myself as a pretty nice guy, and still do. But, I wasn't always that nice and respectful to W. For the first time in my life, I actually feel emotionally fragile and that's hard to admit. Even, just a year ago, I questioned whether or not I was happy in my M and what life would be like as a single. I really do have hope that DBing will save me and can already see it's positive effects. A LONG way to go.

Thank you for the car wreck analogy! It definitely puts things into perspective.

Sorry for the length, but I really do appreciate your response. Maybe we all feel a little helpless (less so after DBing) and that's why we're on here. The advice of the Vet's is great, but it's also great to know we're not the only ones going through this.

I'm going to stick with MrBond's approach. Also going to read the threads you recommended