Well guys the A ended back in Dec but i believe it rekindled and ended again several times since .
Whenever a LBH tries to do something to rekindle the attraction from his WW, it usually means he is going to apply emotional pressure on her. You don't mean to do it, and probably can't even tell that's what you're doing, but it is. My advice is to be the most attractive you can be, and the rest is up to her and nature. Are the two of you spending time together as a family? If so, describe the interaction. Are you sleeping in the MBR?
Second part to this is, your WW has been back and forth in this A since December......so it hasn't been long enough for her to have fully withdrawn from the addiction of the A. In fact, you don't even know for certain that she's not still in contact, right?
I can't remember exactly how long it took me to completely get through the withdrawal, but it took at least four months of very hard withdrawal. That was with absolutely NC or backsliding, so just think about how long it could be if she's been in and out.
Here's the thing, based on what you've described, she seems just a bit too contented for things to stay the same, don't you think? She is either still in the A (at least emotionally), still going through withdrawals and has no romantic attachment for you, or she's at that point of depression and feeling empty/dead. Perhaps she has given up ever having a fulfilled MR again and she's trying to just focus on her and the kids for now.
Has she had any counseling since December? Has anything been said, from her, about staying in the M? She doesn't talk about leaving?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
