I agree with your L in the sense that you want to have a plan for the proceeds of the house sale before the money comes in, otherwise you stand to watch the money disappear. Whether that plan is in terms of a D settlement agreement or some other legally binding document is up to you and your L.
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Concerned that if I push on financials it will lead to D.
This is a fear you need to get rid of. You cannot live your life in fear of perhaps causing D. Not only is it torture to live like that, it isn't effective at preventing D. Confidence builds attraction. Cowering doesn't.
This doesn't have to be adversarial. But as a matter of fact, D has been mentioned, so you're simply looking out for your own interests by codifying the specifics of the sale of what is probably your largest asset.
