For sometime in the past, I decided to start working part time since the kids were older and I could do something else. Since the beginning I did develop a good relationship with one of the doctors here, he is M and so was I, we never had anything besides work, but that did not impede me to think how amazing he was.
I would compare him to my H and many times found comfort thinking about him and how wonderful he was. I never said it to no one besides in joke to some girlfriends. But the truth is that it made me distant from my H even further.
I would bet this happens in so many of our marriages, the LBS, the WAS...doesn't matter. it creates a wedge. more than a few times i found that i thought just a little bit about "what if's".
I ended up placing restrictions on types of conversations that i was willing to have with women outside of my family because of any sort of skip-forward type happenings where emotional bonds were formed that were more than work related. I am not proud of those thougths from years ago, because things were bad at home and i thought about escape, but i know that i stayed the course and can look myself in the mirror and say that i didn't go there.
