In terms of 180s she can see - this is it. In that time, she has only moved further away. She has upped her EA to a full blown PA, she is pushing to sell the house etc. Another 90 days will see he on the other side of town, in her own house - possibly living with OM. How can I possibly be confident in 180s having any affect?
Originally Posted By: 25
The "math" is "consistent change + sufficient time = change she can believe in.
I am not 25 or Sandi however I will take a stab at this.
#1 - Have you read up on affairs and affair busting? One of the methods is that the affair needs to run its full course, with NO needs being met by anyone else. Somehow in my observations those engaging in crazy affairs dont get their needs met by their affair partner either. At that point they may start looking elsewhere or possibly back to their original partner. This is not something that happens overnight or in a month or two.
So on to point #2 - what is sufficient time as mentioned by 25? I can say it is not a few months, I would say 2 years minimum, but it could be way longer. Their are no guarantees here. Each person has free will, and there may be other issues that are much more deep rooted that can take way longer to resolve. If it is MLC then the person must literally "grow up". How long does it take for your children to "grow up" ? Can you give them a pill or a magic button? Same thing can happen in MLC. Depends on their childhood wounding and whether they want to face it or continue to run away.
This is why we think the best advice is to focus on self!
