If she doesn't accept the offer of doing something, don't ask again for a while. If you were to ask her next week...that is called pursuing. You don't want to come off as needy and wanting her attention right now. You want to show her the new and improved BEClem who can do things w/o her around.

You definitely need to back way off and just leave her alone. Find some activities that you can do by yourself and w/your children. When she begins to notice that you and the children are doing things together and everyone is having fun and being happy, she'll then begin to feel a bit envious and want to join in.

Listen to what the posters are trying to tell you. This isn't their first rodeo and they will not give you bad advice.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.