I am very glad that you have come to the some realizations like you have on the overuse of porn. it took a long time for me to realize just how damaging to my marriage the use of porn was. My wife new i used it, but she had no idea how much, nor did she care...she was expecting that it was a necessary release for me. it never got to the point where i thought it was affecting my life. It took a 'water works' problem with prostate infection to figure it out.
in retrospect, it affected how i viewed sex. it was always willing, I could chose a fettish or whatever, it was always available and never rejected me. self-esteem, confidence, arousal, seeing sex as an act of love vs. necessity and so many other issues were affected, whether I thought so or not. maybe i am full of $hit, but i can totally see how it diminshed my view of my wife, who wanted 'X' or 'Y' all of the time and didn't want to do ANYTHING to please me. it wasnt that she didn't want to please me, it was just not how she was trying or that i was never honest about how i wanted to be pleased.
once I realized there is a problem, solving it was easy. just stop using it. I know this is difficult to recondition your sexual needs, but i feel so much better about myself that i don't even use porn anymore. Finding an outlet for that energy was key for me to stop. Anytime i wanted to go the internet for a release, i did push ups or pull ups until i was tired. There were other parts for curbing that appetite, but i will not get into that here. i don't even want to get into the side of how it makes women feel, i have read MANY forums, blogs, articles on the subject and i am in no position to comment on that.
Bottom line, overuse of porn DID create an unhealthy sexual desire and conditioning, especially in my sex-starved marriage atmosphere, it only made it worse.
