Bright, You are still grieving and you are going to have days when you are so angry you could spit and then there will be days when you are content.
Why do you think you made a bad decision in marrying your h? He was a good man up until he hit his crisis. Would you feel the same way had he been hit by a train and was in the bed in a coma? I don't think so. The crisis isn't something he asked for and certainly didn't expect it to happen to him. Yes, he's made some bad decisions, but he's been one of the better crisis people on this forum.
Bright, you can't go back and relive your life and look for someone else. I know you are just putting your thoughts out there today. However, you can start thinking about what you want to do in the here and now and move forward. You have two choices here: 1) continue as you have been and hope that your h will wake up and return to you and your family or 2) you can end the marriage. From where I'm sitting, you are not ready to end the marriage.
So, for today, beat the stuffings out of pillows, pull some nasty weeks, find something that will help you relieve this stress and then, go out and enjoy your weekend w/some friends.
As we have stated before, you will know when you've had enough...but today isn't the day.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
