Clem, Please, please give this woman her space. It takes time for her digest everything.
Please do not rush the process. I know you are anxious to have your family back all, but it takes a lot of time for the crisis individual to work through their issues.
Even though your communications w/her have been calm, you need to be mindful that they don't come off as controlling.
Yes, you can go to your marital home at any time...but be mindful...right now, it's her safe haven and she needs that space to work through her issues. The more you are in contact w/her, except for issues relating to finances, children or emergencies, the more you are taking her focus off of what she needs to do to heal.
BEClem, I truly know how you feel, but you've got to step back just a wee bit and give her the space she needs. If you don't, she will follow through on her threat of divorce to get you to back off.
Keep the focus on you and what you need to do to get healthy, i.e., mind, body and soul.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
