Its a really interesting discussion thats going on here and i can see all sides of it. Pinks viewpoint is very interesting and i have to say I can really see and could easily agree with what she is saying.
RD, how competitive are you? how do you react if someone says that you can't do something?
I ask because you really stepped up with your kids and in the process made a point of being the best dad you can be (arguably at the expense of yourself - some GAL please). You also seem to have made a point of showing you dont need your W. You know, she knows it and your kids know it.
But i also wonder how you are dealing with your emotions, for all that you say I find myself wondering how much sadness, anger and resentment you are carrying? and whether you are still squashing that down so that you can be the image of the dad you are trying to show your W.
now big caveat here in that i know full well your wife moved out and that so much of this is about her choices.
equally I'd either missed or forgotten the bit where you W had said about a M without sex and that you'd said you wanted to end things.
I know how i reacted when i heard that my W wanted to split - my world shattered and thats not put back together quickly.
There are different narratives here RD, I couldnt tell you what is true or not but I do know that things arent as we see them. what i do know is that we can try different narratives and see how they make us feel.
So can you try and come up with a narrative where your W is a good person, where OM is nothing to her except a burden, and that everything she does is driven by her feelings that she is not good enough for you?
Having said all that the move to the UK might be good for you and her, space can help us heal, her family will give her the support she clearly needs and hopefully it will break the link with Spongebob (OM)
Take care RD
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
