I too am puzzled ^^^. I will have to look on Sunny's thread now to see the context it was in. I suspect just empathising? I do this as well and am guilty of perhaps turning it into venting of *repressed* anger.
*repressed* because it isn't that easily defined. sometimes it is actively repressed. sometimes I can live with it and sometimes it comes to the surface.
I dont know the context, but the content could be my rant as well. Same neurotic mother, M not her priority, I nose-dived into insane despair and treated her poorly as punishment.
We are where we are. I think it is necessary at certain junctures to cut yourself off from DBing. I mean like in this case, or my analogous point on this path. I have an understanding of what happened, how it happened, and why. Because I have been trying hard to NOT burn-bridges or medicate or move forward by rewriting history etc, I am (usually) in a position (that I know you are too Zeus) that I dont BLAME her.
This being the case, I think when the *repressed* anger surfaces about our horrible situation(s) we need only to get back to here. Re-settle with this alone before adding further complications into it like "what I need to work on that lead to my part" in the M failure etc.
Like rewinding to an earlier solid point. Sit here until you feel it is safe to move forwards again.
I'm sure you can deal with this on your own Z. Writing it down for my own benefit as well. I have been a bit flat since my HIGH the other day. It goes in circles. Most likely reality is that for at least the next few years my family will be strewn across the city, kids will be volley balls etc. This has been the case since day 1 (or soon after anyway). I denied it, I could;t accept it, I was angry about it. Periodically I conquer some aspect along this path and I feel great. But then it sinks in that this ^^ is till true. Then follows the step backwards.
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
