I would like to piggyback 25's comments here and chime in with my own thoughts. I enjoy how she breaks down things into understandable POV.
Originally Posted By: 25
Originally Posted By: Zeus
So the question- is there another way to build confidence in your value to a member of the opposite sex without trying to become a playboy? If not, is there something wrong with the path I would then choose above?
Zues, if you think the way to build your confidence with the opposite sex is by "dating a lot of them/trying to become a playboy", then you are missing a big piece and imo, doing the opposite of what is needed.
Having a deep, healthy, adult relationship will build your confidence.
but "Dating a lot" means what? Dinner? Talking? And That will make you feel more attractive?
OR do you mean Going to bed, getting praised for your "performance" and then what? Dating others?
Quote from 25: Having a deep, healthy, adult relationship will build your confidence.
That FIRST important healthy adult relationship is with YOURSELF. Get to know thyself. Fall in love with yourself. Honor your own values and principles.
From that point forward, you will have developed your own inner confidence. Then it will manifest outwardly in how you treat women. Then you will not have to measure it by some "performance" for it will eventually fall off in old age. Then what do you have left??!
I know MANY, MANY heterosexual men who are not into porn having a positive self-worth and self-confidence that have healthy long-term Rs/Ms. They also do not need to be a player to get that self-confidence.
Joel Osteen has only known 1 woman in the carnal sense in his entire life: his own wife, Victoria. Look at him!
I am wondering about men's escape into porn. I cannot help but wonder about their own self-worth when porn consumes their thoughts and actions.
Porn objectifies women. Just a sex thing to play with.
There's no true emotional intelligence involved right there.
Emotional IQ is lacking in men who are deep into porn in my opinion. Their IRL relationships suffer as a result due to their distorted views of women.
Like with all unhealthy addictions, men really need to break off from porn completely as the first step in their journey in acquiring higher emotional IQ.
Hey...to keep things real here. I have viewed porn a few times back when I was in college so I have a good sense of what is actually played out on the celluloid screen.
