WAW-- LRT in action

[SadDood]

Thank you MrBond! I read and re-read what you wrote and it helped me very much. As always, you're exactly right. I almost immediately stopped feeling sorry for myself and felt better than I had in months. If that makes any sense.

Not long after, I texted MIL and thanked her for her support throughout this mess. FIL texted me a few hours after that and I thanked him and told him no matter what we'll get through this (we're very close).

W texted me not long after that and we had a pretty decent text conversation. Nothing serious. But pleasant!

Since I was in such a good mood, I decided to throw a "Water Balloon Fight" kids party for all our mutual friends (who mostly have kids the same age) and made an event page on FB. It's a big 180 for me. I've never been one to plan much of anything, let alone host anything. W almost immediately accepted invite and most of our mutual friends will be going. Had another long text convo today with W and she simply said, "You seem like you're in a better place. I'm really happy for you!" Not going to make much of that, but MWD says small steps are big steps.

Obviously I have my ups and downs and don't want to give up on my M. After reading your post, I decided I'm going to call 3 friends I haven't talked to in a long time. I did and it was great! At work today, I didn't have that same gloomy look I've had the past few months and was actually able to laugh with the guys and make some jokes. Almost forcing myself to be more social has felt great!

I still have a lot of work to do, and I can see my insecurities for what they are. Whether W is in an A or not, I certainly pushed her to that point. She's not in a rush to file, so, I'm going to give it all I've got.

Thank you MrBond! I needed that 2x4. I'm going to keep forcing myself to be more social as I can tell that makes me happy inside. I might need a few more 2x4's before this is all said and done. Patience has never been my strongsuit and this is going to take so much patience and understanding, it is hard to fathom. I keep on wanting to take the easy way out and there is no easy way out.

So, I'm going to keep up the "stop feeling sorry for myself" attitude and GAL and do more 180's. W did say the other day that the kids had a blast with me and I'm such a great daddy. I told her she's a great Mommy, and I hoped she has as much fun with them as I did.

I do think my bipolar is contributing to paranoia and that's one (of the many) things she said is that she can't stand the rollercoaster and never knows which Saddood she's going to be dealing with. Huge 180 if I can keep this up and remain even keel throughout everything.