Hi Sweet Rd, finally got updated on your posts too. I am becoming so bad in posting. Hope that when kids are out of this crazy end of school time, things will be a little more normal.
You are being stubborn Rd...I am pretty much black and white, but to be a woman only a fool would leave, I need to learn how to be a little gray or rainbow sometimes.
You are not sure if your W is with OM or not, then do some investigation. I will tell you, it hurts, but you at least get out of the dark. Don't fight ghosts that will take you to scary places. If you can't do the search yourself, then get a private investigator. No one needs to know this. Just you.
If you can do, then plan ahead and think about how you could find out what is she up to. Let's say you go to her place late at night one day, when she is not expecting. You can have some whatever excuse, but you can do the checking.
It's nonsense to hurt for something that you don't know for sure. I did, it's wrong, it hurts, it's not DB but I know myself and I like to see with my own eyes to believe.
Jim's point of view is very interesting. It makes you think that you may have a point w/OM or it is all in your reading minds, between lines, insecurities, jealousy, and whatever. But because you feel this way, doesn't make her guilty of doing it.
My EX H's aunt almost finish her M during her menopause. She went crazy, very depressed and she felt like she was the ugliest woman on earth. The couple S for awhile and then her H decided to help her. They are together now and they are happy.
And, why don't you talk with her. Does she knows you don't want this S or D? Does she knows she can talk to you about your R? Does she knows she can talk to you about her real issues?
There are so many unanswered question in your sitch. Maybe we collaborate for this. During this whole time we have been impressed with your kindness towards your W and your strength to be the single parent for your kids.
The truth is that now you have the challenge to face your sitch and find out what is what in there. You are obviously tired, maybe even exhausted. I know because I need to deal with it all every day. Please RD, settle down a bit, think a little more about all what is going on.
You mention mental illness, is there any other case that is similar in her family? You mention the sexual side of it, well, menopause is known for destroying a lot of M. Some women have a very hard time while on this menopause roller coaster.
Did you ever talk to her about MC? Is she willing to work on the M? Could you make a consultation with one of the DB coach and get some more direction in what could you try in your specific situation?
And besides all the above, now you may understand why some adult GAL needs to be in place, even when you need to force yourself to do it at first. Your head is boiling w/crying children, preparing meals, cleaning house, running a business, listening to WAW, writing on this forum. You really need to give yourself some fresh air, some few hours just for RD.
You are a fantastic nice and caring person, so be that person to yourself once in a while. Life full of obligations and none of fun is a desert without rain, it will make you tired, then thirsty, then weak and it will kill you eventually.
Please RD, as much as I would love to be Mrs RD one day, it for sure needs to be with a guy in one piece. Try everything you can, fight for your family and for your M. Work on your mental health too. I don't hear RD goes to the gym to release those good chemicals in your brain to make you happier. You will need to take care after yourself and let wife be.
You may talk to her, and you probably know how, about many issues or you may decide to let things happen. But you don't need to give up just now. Your future life will be better if you exhaust all your choices before throwing the towel.
Hey RD, today I feel better. Not miserable like many other times. I am feeling pretty and there is some peace inside of me today. So, today I will seat down and you can lay your head and your troubles on my lap. You can cry and let go the hurt, the wounds that are pushing you down. Time to time, I think we need to seat with our pain and let it hit hard, because when we are done, we are a bit stronger.
So the whole crew here also wants to read about your GAL PLANS for the next few days. It does not need to be lady related (I am kind of jealous. But remember that the man you make happy today is the man that will be and feel happy tomorrow. And when I arrive in Ireland some of these days, I want to meet that happy man.
A huge hug to you and a big kiss. Smile, life can be fun.
