The more that you can manage your reaction to the abuse then the calmer it will be.
I've been VERY calm through the bulk of this and have even been able to stop reacting when she hurts my son... beyond stating that we're done with it and leaving with him when needed. Luckily I haven't had to do this since she moved out... she was super embarrassed when I had an officer come back to the house to chat with her.
The STBXW has agreed to let me take S7 to see FS9 on her Sundays so she can get her run in. S7 has reported that both STBXW and OM are running together. She's even asked for one of the spare bikes so S7 can ride his bike while they run. At first I was resistant because having the spare bike is better if other kids come over. She was going to put $100 towards a new bike, but told her if she'd give me the money, I'd give her the spare bike (that's worth more) so I could get S7 something that allow him to go biking with me. Which I picked up last week. We rode around the lake together... 5 miles. S7 was geeked and proud of himself!!!
I also traded some things to get kayaks for both of us. Last Sunday was her day, but something came up (see below) that allowed me to have him for the almost the whole day. So we spent a couple hours in kayaks on the lake and he even wanted to fish.
Memorial day weekend we'll be going on a fishing trip and taking the kayaks with us. Coolest part is that I'll be able to take FS9 with us too. I haven't told S7 yet and won't until next week to cut down any noise with the STBXW from getting jealous. FS9 new foster mom doesn't like the STBXW much at the moment.
Only thing of note is a string of text messages from last Sunday. I'd love to have someone else's perspective (maybe Sandi?).
STBXW If you haven't left the house yet, can I borrow your "small appliance here"? I forgot to bring the one from work home. I can bring it right back out
STBXW I usually one at work since we have one there. I bring it home on weekends
Sherman Yes. I'll bring it.
---------------------------------- Skipping a bunch of meaningless texts...
STBXW I locked myself out of my car.
STBXW I tried the keyless entry first and it let me in so then I locked the keys in car and now the keyless entry won't work
---------------------------------- Skipping a bunch of meaningless texts...
Sherman Do you need me to come get you?
STBXW Not yet. I am heading back to my car to try the code
STBXW Code doesn't work and AAA will be about thirty minutes. Just take S7 to your place. This is taking too long.
STBXW I will bring out clothes and backpack once I get this done with
Sherman Ok
STBXW Finally in car and heading home. Are you still in area?
Sherman No. At home.
STBXW Could you please look in the basket and see if my extra key is in there? Also I have your other set of sunglasses in my car.
STBXW I thought I might have put extra key in car like a dork but it wasn't in there
Sherman Ok. I'll look only thing I'd need is his school bag and lunch box.
STBXW I'm bringing all of that and his clothes
---------------------------------- Skipping
STBXW I'm sorry about how today turned out. I think the code I thought worked only did because I had the key in my hand and it opens it automatically when you approach with key. I wasn't thinking about that when I tested it out
STBXW You will need to do his reading homework with him because we didn't do it. Was planning to today but plans got squashed.
STBXW He did some worksheets for me for Mother's Day but the flowers one goes to Dad. It's okay. Glad he loves his Dad and has a good relationship with you.
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STBXW For the record, I pick him up too. I play with him. And I help him whenever he needs help. But I guess it means more coming from you.
The flowers page S7 filled it out is addressed to me and he wrote on it all the reasons why he loves dad. It was supposed to be addressed to her.
STBXW I'm looking over accounts spreadsheet and divorce settlement you gave as last one and I need to understand some things. Doesn't have to be now but when you get a chance.
---------------------------------- Skipping a bunch of financial discussions...
STBXW I know you aren't screwing me over
STBXW I just want to understand it
STBXW I don't want to be married to you but I do love you
STBXW I know you will do what is best for both of us
Sherman Goal is to be out from under it all. Won't happen till the divorce is final.
STBXW My part of the debt is killing me
Sherman Because you skipped a payment and moved out. You surprised me by how quick and you're in a bind.
STBXW The settlement agreement doesn't even say how much I would get so if it is not much and I am having to pay the personal loan that will kill me more
STBXW But why am I responsible for he full amount on that loan? I see no end in sight
STBXW But that is full amount and you have it saying I get defendant's share
Sherman Because everything i took on exceeds everything I asked you to handle.
STBXW So that means I get my own half and have to pay he full loan by myself
Sherman We should be splitting everything
STBXW Like house and other debts? Not sure what you mean
Sherman Yes.
Sherman But if you total up the full amounts of the monthly payments the personal loan is less than all the rest.
STBXW Why did you reject everything I put in the agreement? Did you disagree with everything? Did you not have mutual agreement on any of what I added?
STBXW But as we split it up going down road, I wouldn't have house or boat and I am giving jet ski over too
STBXW Did you sell jet ski? I didn't see it. I wasn't really looking either.
STBXW I don't have any clue about what you are saying with qualified domestic thing. You have good attorney. Why can't you have him draw it up. Why should I have to prepare that? My attorney is not up and up with stuff like that.
Sherman My attorney prepared the agreement and that's what we'll be going forward with.
Sherman Jetski is sold.
STBXW What was wrong with some of the sections that I added?
STBXW What did you pay down or off with the money?
Sherman Credit Cards
STBXW Are they gone?
Sherman One is
STBXW How does that work then? Do I get half since it was marital asset?
Sherman Half of all the cards was yours
Sherman Anything post separation is 100% mine.
STBXW But it says I am only getting defendant's share
STBXW That is saying I am entitled to my half and you still get half
Sherman I'd have to reread it.
Sherman Been a while.
STBXW Ok sorry to bother you
Sherman Did Sloan take a bath last night?
STBXW Just need clarification on that plus why you rejected all sections I added. Don't understand the blanket rejection
STBXW No sorry
Sherman K
STBXW Bye
STBXW I will make sure he does in future
Sherman Np. Just need to know so i can give him one tonight.
STBXW Okay sorry again bye
I didn't really respond to this, but my take is she's starting to feel sorry for herself. S7 did tell me that STBXW and OM were discussing money and how the OM didn't think they had the funds to do something. I guess she still sees me as a financial resource for herself.
