7 weeks in feels like a lifetime.

[Lynn80]

Thanks Caliguy!

I realized that I use anger to avoid pain. I react when someone hurts me to push them away. I have been reading a lot and seeing our counselor.

I also get angry when things don't go the way I want them to- CONTROL ISSUES!!! I am a serial pursuer. It is part of what got us into trouble. He avoids. I peruse. For this, I have been using mantras and noticing when I feel the urge to control things like move it along faster.

I also re-read love languages to realize he is words of affirmation and all I do is demand and put him down. I owned that and it seemed to really sink in. I tend to see everything that is wrong. Which funnels my need to control and my anger.


I would love any other solutions.

One last question. He has a male coworkers bday party Saturday. He said he wasn't sure if he would get a cab home or sleep there. Soooo scary as I can only guess she will be there also. Not sure if he says these things because he wants me to clearly state my preference. He leaves it like a leading statement. . In the past I would have pleaded, etc. I am considering just letting him know I am would prefer he catch a cab home. We have not been clearly communicating expectations which also got us into anger issues due to unmet expectations.

Thank you for responding. Means so much and helps get through the time.