Just read your story, appears you have hit the running.
About the OW, its common to focus on them, if you can detach and look at it from a different perspective its not really about the OW, YOU are the prize ... she more like a band aide. So rather than worry about what she is doing, what he is doing with her, channel that energy into more constructive areas like how YOU can use it to work on YOU.
You mentioned that your H has an issue with your anger ... how are you working on that? I ask because guess what ... my W has the same fear .... I went to IC, worked on things, also became heavily involved in church ... found out most my anger was misplaced and typically misdirected, its amazing how free one feels when they can let go of that anger ... it can be crippling.
