Last night grabbed kiddo and went to practice, I let W know I had to leave early (this means on time to us prompt peeps) W said she would be there by 6, at 5:35 she calls that she is just leaving .... typically with traffic this is a hour drive. I was a little grrrr but honestly I have just come to expect this and it really did'nt bother me, I wanted to be at my RCIA meeting at 6:30, figured if I left by 6:15 I would be on time ... 6:30 puts me 15 min late .. not a big deal. <~~~~~ HUGE 180 from old Cali you all have no idea.
So W gives me updates of ETA via TM, telling me all the reasons she was late, begging for me not to be mad .. I could see her fear escalate as I was not replying .. not on purpose but I could only read the TM and not reply in fear of being blasted by the 8 yr olds during practice... I TM her "I'm not upset ... don't worry :D" So W arrives about 6:20 ... I give S a hug and head out ... W comes over to say goodbye phone in hand I tell her a little funny about S and the boys, she laughs and says she was TM a gf about work, I catch the screen and all I seen was the contact was G----- ... OM's name starts with the same letter, surprisingly I was pretty calm but W must have thought I seen OM's name so she raised the phone and showed me, I did not ask and I really do not think I had reacted badly. It was not him, was evidently the girls last name ... just the fact W showed me sent me more of a message.
I have not asked for full transparency ... honestly because I just feel that is only going to make things worse... I recall reading RobX's take on this .. even when I was in the middle of the storm and it impacted me back then ... something towards the effect "If I have to spend my energy to ensure you are being honest ... its not a R/M I want" ... I full heartedly agree. Truth is ... if she were TM'ing OM sure I would be hurt, feel betrayed (again) but she knows where I stand, that boundary was put into place the weekend she wanted to commit to the M. Contact with OM and keeping it a secret .. final straw and I am out. When I told her that I released myself from wanting to snoop and dig to see if there was contact of any kind and honestly it was very freeing, like I told her I will never walk my life looking over my shoulder.
Anyways I found that her showing me like that ... odd, even for her, a nice odd mind you ... still odd.
