The "talk" scheduled for Saturday..

[Kramer]

Tulo,

I am just going to add my opinion to those of everybody else. First, I know the pain is immense. The sense of betrayal and lack of empathy from your spouse is indescribable. It feels like your whole world is crumbling and you are on an island with your emotions. You constantly second guess yourself and have tons of "what-ifs" that are in your head.

However, the ONLY thing you can do at this time is work on yourself. Your spouse does not care that you are hurting, and they are deep in their own emotions. It may not be their intent to hurt you, but their focus is strictly on themselves at this point in time. The absolute worst thing you can do is play the sympathy card. Trust me, I know. I did this frequently at first.

You need to protect yourself and your emotions. Allow the hurt and anger to wash over you, but don't let it consume you. Not an easy thing to do, but keep trying. I'm not telling you to give up on your marriage, but concentrate on what you have control over...you.

We may never get our spouses back, but we can become better people in the process. None of this is easy, but it is necessary.