Whoa, I'm not suffering much anymore! Now what?!?

[Pyrite]

BOOM! this will keep you busy Z.

This is the first thing that stands out to me, as in for me as well

However, I can see that if I am convinced of my low worth (and need constant reassurance that I'm good enough) that can be picked up on and devalue me to women, or to my partner, who could then actually start to agree with my negative self assessment.

Yes absolutely, and one can start to feel like a loser to be with someone so unworthy, and a cycle begins that is not healthy. Also it's not our job to prop up our spouse's self worth.

That isn't partnership or a marriage; it's one person using the other as an emotional crutch b/c they are not able to carry themselves.

I'm not really sure how to change that, or even if I really need to.

You need to be authentically happy with who you are as a man AND as a potential partner. That means that you'll take in their feedback for when you drop the ball or don't match a need of hers with something from you,

WITHOUT this making you into a monster

(i.e. you have to be able to forgive yourself for imperfection, and not blame or resent her for the feedback, then tweak the needed change and move forward...)

guilty AND failed on my account. The 1st part was true just b/c of my low self-esteem and then further battered because of resentment I felt in the 2nd (not moving forward). In the beginning I did make the change, but then resented that SHE didn't make any of the changes I asked for. After a while I just went straight to the resentment.