Well, W moved out this past weekend. I let her know I would be out of town and she could have all day Saturday and Sunday (Mother's Day).
I had a great time! I invited our Son's best friend and his mom to go fishing and stay at a friend's cabin on an island. The Mom (I'll call her FF for Female Friend) is friend's with W and I and very familiar with our sitch. She even texted W to see if she would have a problem prior to going with me and the kids. I don't think I would have been able to do it without her TBH. (Handling a boat, launching, mooring, etc.) with a 4 and 6 y.o. seems impossible.
Once we arrived to the cabin, we explored a lot and let the kids be kids. The place is really unbelievable and really wish I could divulge it's whereabouts. After the kids had settled down and had fallen asleep, we had a few beers, then polished off a bottle of wine. I was really attentive to FF and very interested in her stories, she has really lived an interesting life. All in all, we really enjoyed one another's company. I let her know my theory about what is going on and she let me see some texts W had sent her. W got a tattoo the weekend before (I've always hated them on women--just a personal thing--no offense to anyone). Either way, FF was a great listener and we had a great time with the kids. At the end of the night she went to her room with her S and I went to mine with my kids. Nothing remotely intimate happened whatsoever. I could definitely see myself getting to know her a lot better down the road.
As far as updates/intel. My neighbor let me know that a brown truck has been parked at my house every night I'm gone from 6 pm til about midnight and belongs to a redheaded woman. The same one I suspected initially as being the OP. I haven't let W know I have this intel and have limited conversations to the children. I'm going to trust my gut on this one and say that the redhead is the OW. I literally have nothing against gays, but my W is having an affair with OW and being very hush hush about it. We live in a small town and word would get out very quickly and not be necessarily positive.
Lately, I have been doing a lot of fun things with the kids (Fishing, bike riding, hikes and playing outside) I even took my S's training wheels off and was able to help him ride a bike for the first time. It was really exciting! I took a video and texted it to the W, because this was somewhat monumentous.
Other than that text, all conversation has been initiated by her and mostly dealt with the kids, separating finances, etc. She'll text me throughout the day and I'll respond with one in the evening. Setting boundaries has been easier. She wanted me to rush in and sign some document to split our cell phone bills, but I was playing with kids and told her I'd just do it the next day. Definitely was going to do it on my time and not hers.
Have been texting and talking with FF a lot more, but nothing more than "getting to know you" type things. I can tell she's guarded and she can tell I'm raw. Neither of us are willing to jump into anything with anyone. But, somehow this has helped me cope with the downfall of my M. Just knowing there are single women out there that I could be attracted to and lessen the pain of losing W helps. I like being the fun "old me" and making other's laugh. If nothing else... it's boosting my confidence.
As far as W, I'm not sure I'm willing to forgive an A. She still hasn't admitted to it to anyone and I haven't asked. I can now see the effects on the kids though and that alone has been tougher than I expected. S told me that "Mommy still loved me and she can just move back in!" I didn't have the words to tell him and just hugged him close so that he couldn't see the tears fall from my eyes.
Sorry for the length of this... just wanted to get some thoughts down (as incoherent as they may be).
M: 8 years, together 9 M: 41 W: 32 D 4, S 6 ILYBINILWY 2/10/15 2/14/15-2/22/15 Left home 4/5/15 Suspect A, Initiated Sandi's advice from WW thread 4/19/15 W asked for D
