Toot Toot - here I come!

[Sotto]

Thanks RD and Jim. Yes it feels right to just be doing what I am right now - and keep working towards 'marvellous.' I still have a sense of 'waiting' for D papers to arrive, or for that email telling me he has filed for D. Equally, I will survive that, and it will at least mean I'll be more settled financially. Equally, I know that people in MLC are known to throw the D word around, but not actually initiate, so we'll see. But thank you for your kind words both of you.

Dawn - thanks for your kind comments too. I'm so glad you find my posts uplifting. I read your update earlier today and thought I would love to visit Dawn, see her new curtains and bird feeder, take Molly for a walk. What a lovely day that would be.

Pink, bless you for taking the time to catch up on me and post your insights. Your post really helped me today. You may well be right about the 'family as justification' theme. Although I truly think H feels broody, and I respect that. Although 'new family' may come with all kinds of brutal realities that H isn't seeing right now. We all know it's by no means easy to start a third marriage in your late 40s, have more kids with your own child and possibly others in the mix. Not a picnic by any means.

You are probably right that there may be more to come. And that may well be the case for both of our sitches. I don't think either of our H's are facing things right now. More running from them, and who knows if and when that might change. It's hard to imagine things getting worse, but they may well. I think if H got someone else pregnant, that would be a deal breaker for me and I would let go and walk away at that point. I do feel I need to give this a year, and if I have given it a year, I may well feel that is enough and start moving on. Equally I may feel happy to carry on as I am. We'll just have to see.

My calendar has got so busy lately that I've started getting double booked. I had to sit down today and sort out what I'm doing in the next few weeks, just to stay on track. I also had a dental appt and need root canal work - 2x1hr appts - ugh. Also, my dad is pretty stressed out just now as Mum's mobility has worsened and he needs a new car due to this. I think I'll need to step in and help more there. I went up for a couple of hours today, so Dad could have a nap, as they'd had a poor night. Then I had yoga this evening.

So, I'm doing fine, and your posts helped me a lot today. Thanks so much to you all xx