Heartbreak Warfare

[V2pt0]

Last night my H and I looked at our respective work travels schedules and it made me sad. Yes, will it be a good opportunity for me to detach and GAL, but I am concerned about the lack of connection time with H. We basically will see each other very little over the next two months, so worries me that we will have little time to connect until August.

The good news is that I had good, light conversations last night and this morning with H. Bad is that I think figured out that I am still likely dealing with lies. H insists there is no reason to lie at this stage. If you recall, last Thursday night H never came home. I sent text on Friday as I started to get concerned about his wellbeing when there was not a peep from him. I made the mistake of laying into him about disrespect and no regard for me and my concerns and our M. Yeah, I know I shouldn't have, but it made me made.

H said he did not come home because he extended stay on local overnight work trip and that he informed me he might do that. I don't recall this, but still inconsiderate not to inform me that he did decide to do this. He was upset as he said text was sent to make him feel guilty. H is either not thinking lies through or I may be missing something, but work hotels are paid via our personal checking account. Only a charge came through for one night. I called and did confirm it was one night only. So there you have it. I don't understand where this person has come from that used to be my H. If you would have ever told me he would bold face lie to me, I would not have believe it. He is literally looking me in the eye and saying these things. Makes it hard to believe the more positive stuff, and I know I am not supposed to anyway. But also I obviously have to question status of A. In my heart I think I know the answer. Where else would he have been that he would feel need to lie. I assume he is cake eating since he at same time is saying positive things to me and still here.

I so want to call him on his $h!t, but I will just get called a snoop and make things worse. Is it really snooping when I am the one who handles finances and would easily see that hotel charge. No, but I guess calling would be.