Finally caught up with your posts. And it makes me think about everyone says the MCLers will do at least time to time.
H already notice that you are moving forward. That you are not being miserable and falling apart. He may even know about all what you have been doing and it does not please him at the moment.
In my opinion, attacking the only issue that you can't resolve is a sign that he wants to still blame you for his unhappiness. Your H is not just dreaming, he is a big denial and it's easier for him to point fingers on somebody else right now.
It may in some bizarre way take the blame from himself as he feels guilty for not being a good father or a good husband. I do not see that he still wants to build a happy family as he says, but exactly the opposite, he knows what he had. He feels that at his age he already tried twice and fail to build what he most want.
If he is an MLCer then while in this fog, he will obviously blame someone else for his mistakes and insecurities. And nothing more logical for him, then blame you for his misery.
The fact that he takes the time to write a long letter, saying that you can't fulfill his life, but yet he still loves you, thinks you are a beautiful woman is because he is such turmoil and still not very sure if he wants to let go or face his issues.
It's very sad to see someone we love in such despair. You are doing what you need to do for Toots to be happy and move forward. It's a hard road to follow, because our feelings betray us almost every day. I agree that in your case you may just wait and see what he will do. There is still hope, because you can read in his letter how much pain is still inside this man.
He may think that life will be better without Toots, but he needs to deal with reality every day and the world is not any fantasy, it will hit you hard all the time. So, the best thing for him is to feel sorry for himself and blame others, blame Toots.
I also see that he respects you, even when he is trying to make you feel bad. This man is hurting, who knows if he wrote this letter after some drinks or so. That's what this MLCers do, they are hurting and they go deep into despair. They do crazy stuff.
Hang in there Toots, this journey is not done yet, and I think there is a lot to come. Your H is chasing ghosts right now, dealing with his demons and it looks like not a much fun.
I read that sometimes the MLCers will need to fall very deep inside a big hole before they come back from their fog. So, who knows how much more needs to happen until he wakes up?
Your new job may be the best thing that happen right now, it will keep you busy and give you some financial security that can allow you to wait for H to deal with his pain.
I am so amazed with all the things you are doing every day. You are marvelous, a strong and human Toots. We love you and hope for all the best in your life.
