H came and loaded up all his stuff. I didn't help him at all. There were tears on my part and foolishly I let my mouth run asking him how he could leave me to take care of the house and everything else by myself. I need to buy some duct tape and STFU! Going to have to really work on being able to forgive him for doing this to me. Everytime I work on the house trying to get it ready to sell I get angry with him. He is so selfish and all about him. His new life, his new start, his new business. Argh I want to be with him and have a good marriage and then I think why? Why would I want to be with someone that couldn't put me and our family first? He was unhappy...well welcome to the club. Lots of people are unhappy. You work things through, you work things out. You don't just bail!
It's hard to STFU, really hard at times. Just keep trying and it gets somewhat easier to keep your mouth closed. Yes, hes selfish. I feel the same as you do in most of these statements, yet about my W. Its hard to see them do this and not care about you. At times its so confusing how they could be so cold to your pain, how they could even consider doing all of this. I'm still trying to face this myself, but we have to see it as they aren't doing this to us, its just a side effect of what they think they need. They want this other life so badly they ignore what its doing to the rest of the life they are leaving behind.
You want to be with him the same reason we all do, love. Its not logical, but it is what it is. It can be the greatest thing in the world, but also the most painful.
Keep up the GAL Diana, one day we will be OK. We just have a hard painful road to pass through first.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
