PHi Nim. I want to really thank you for taking the time you are on me
L/C is just fantastic and called me today to see how I was. Her whole thing is getting rid of the programs and living from the real you She says your first reaction to a sitch is the real you and a nano second later the program kicks in
She is very much along DB lines but thinks in my sitch W needs me and our connection is all important L/C thinks W didn't leave me as much as leave the family unit because she is lost and not thinking straight. L/C thinks when W left she thought she wanted one thing but couldn't justify it to herself so left. The only support she got was from OM and his sister. L/C also agrees with your thoughts on OM leaning on W and visa versa. L/C is sure W will be back and points out that W has done nothing to improve her life or move on with her own life
Jim, I put down my lists to give you bullet points but there is so much more on the cons list that even I sometimes think OM can't even be a decent friend let alone more
It all comes down to my programs Jim. And that's why L/C is getting on my case
IF W was even telling 90% truth I would have tried to work on the M but as time goes on it appears that W is very troubled and getting worse She has made choices without really thinking them through and they are starting to bite
W cannot survive on her income she kept the children's aloownace and that pays her rent. She bought a car that is way to expensive to run and I lent her the money to tax it. The tax is now due again and she told me a few days ago that she can't pay me the loan money. I just said ok because regardless of OM she is seriously troubled and I don't think she can continue much longer.
At this stage I worry for her mental health but I can only control me
I have a friend in Surrey whos W died this time last year and who actually Iintroduced me to W call yesterday. When I told him of my planshe as good as begged me to stand because he said he has experienced true loss. He is also one of the friends who has seen the FB postings
I was with solicitor today and it didn't go as I thought He's a family freind and has told me to think about my plans for a month. We had a long chat and he was telling me that unless there was / is violence or abuse of some kind then he wants me to be 100%!sure because once it starts he said it can get very messy very quickly I explained my story and he said it sounds very much like issues got out of hand and will not resolve themselves without external intervention. He also told me that he divorced 22 years ago and regrets it everyday. He didn't go into details so I don't know the ins and outs. Long and short of it , I will take his advice and also reflect on your advice Jim Toots has also posted along your lines and I thank you both. It's incredible that strangers would put so much effort into my sitch.
Thanks Jim no question re this is too intrusive. Take care. Rd
