"I notice, as I work my way back, that it's like these demons.. they come out of nowhere. I have to fight them off. It's a horrible feeling. These dark shadows of truth... and lies, for that matter. But, I have to take power over them. Accept the truth for what it is. Accept the lies are... and that in the end, I have no control of it. By accepting it, I can take control over it. "
Mighty ... I fight ^^^^ alot too ... just when you think you have dealt with them .. they come back .. sizes and intensity change but they definitely are there.... alive and well ... even when you thought you had them all out of your space.
I have always kept up with your sitch ... I laughed today as my post count went 4 flippin digits long.... I obviously intended to join this site, have you all fix my wife (because I was perfect) and be long gone in under 100 posts .... not how it works eh?
I have read enough of you to know ..... your H and the hww take up a good deal of your head space, with all that happened, I think I would have been wearing a fancy white jacket that tied in the back at this point. You talked of acceptance, yeah .. what choice do we have really, no one can explain the MLC and why they do what they do, all we can do is accept they are broken, accept that we can do nothing about it.
Your H is a fool, a broken fool, the email ... I think its just another thing, in his mind he wants you right where he left you, and maybe you are still right there ya know? Mighty I say this with love in my heart, go ... live. H and hww do not deserve the head space you have given them, I know its tough, I know it is, and I know it stings ... always will I imagine .. its not fair this thing, regardless of the outcome. I am sitting here thinking .... wow .. years wasted, nothing will ever be the same, I will never be the same ... but ya know what .. I will be stronger .. so will you, and I have no doubt at some point you will find one who will not have taken you for granted, someone YOU can lean on and know they will be there .. might not be your H ... but he had his chance, you gave him plenty of time and chances .. he has chose a lesser option .. door #3. You are the prize Mighty, you know that ... you can walk proud.
