It's such an understatement to say "this is so hard" but we have all been there and done that.
No one arrives here feeling really great about themselves or their lives. GAL is mandatory for Detachment and helps to stop obsessing far more than anything else I can think of.
While going to the cabin with your son IS a smart thing to do, would it kill you to have him bring a friend OR for you to do the same?
Just an idea. Our first Xmas separated, h came over for 2 days and then left. I took the 3 kids on a ski trip and it was GREAT. Just a short trip but we needed to remember that we could have fun with or without h.
The next summer was our 25th wedding anniversary and I was NOT going to be home alone again...so I took the kids to Italy. OMG best money I ever borrowed...
and h noticed b/c he could not reach any of us for 2+ weeks...but we saw things that did NOT remind me of h and that were stimulating and fun and it was such a rewarding thing to do. The problem with going to the cabin with your son is that it MIGHT accent the gap in company b/c your h usually goes and there are only 3 of you in all. (In other words I think having 3 kids made it a little easier to just have h missing, whereas if there were only 1 kid, a missing parent is more noticeable.)
Also for your GAL please please involve OTHER PEOPLE b/c doing too much alone stuff, the solo activities tends to keep us isolated.
And as much as "meeting new people" feels super awkward, it always pays off and if you retreat into solo activities more (as many of us are tempted to do when we feel hurt)
you could easily just feed the depression that will set in, and the feelings of alienation. Then you will obsess MORE, not less. And so, I strongly urge newcomers to GAL with PEOPLE....
Make sense?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
