Trying to Follow DB & DR (3)

[Miman2]

"Do you mean the time you allowed her to take her things out and then you tried to control what she could take?"

No. I mean the time before that, when a toothbrush charger and some cooking pans disappeared. She literally went into the apt when I wasn't there, took things and never said a word until I asked about it.

"It sounds more like a place of resignation. There is a way for you to save your M, but I do feel like sometimes you'd rather verbally spar than listen. Even in terms of you wanting an "aggressive" L."

I mentioned in my last post I'm going with the less aggressive lawyer.

I don't feel like it's a resignation. I feel that if I was resigning I would stop trying anything. No more counseling, no more CoDA, no more self-help book homework and I would just sign off on the reply to the lawsuit and start looking to move on.

Someone in CoDA last night mentioned that acceptance is like getting the wrong order when you're at a restaurant. You asked for baked sole but you got the blackened chicken. It's not what you asked for, but it's what you have at the moment and it's up to you to decide what to do about it next.

I'm accepting that the divorce process has started. There is nothing I can do to stop the process. The only one who can stop the process now is my wife, if she wanted to. Right now she doesn't want to stop the process. So I have to deal with that the best way I know how. I need a lawyer to be able best navigate the legal process. Other than that I have no control over anything else in the divorce process.

I'm not upset about it, I'm not letting it take over my life, it's not preventing me from doing anything else. I am hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. In the mean time I continue working on me, for myself. Not giving up on me or resigning to the situation at hand.