I'm not sure I can tell you what you want to hear. The divorce decision isn't in your hands; you cannot control it. Your W will ultimately do what she is going to do.
But you know what I realized after I started actually listening to the people on this site? My life isn't over just because my M is. My W will do whatever she is going to do, but by the time the divorce is final, I intend to be a man and a father that I can be proud of. And while it may be too late for my W to see that, it may not be - that's a long time from now. All I know is that I will not let this be the end of me and I will be strong enough to recover I am only 32; if this ends poorly (which it may) it WILL NOT DEFINE ME.
Trust me, I was just where you are. But by going out and taking advantage of this time, I've learned that while I WANT my W and M...I don't NEED them anymore.
i don't know how helpful that all is, but I truly believe the key is letting go of the things you can't control. They will either happen or they won't. You need to prepare yourself to come out OK no matter what does happen. And to do that, you need to actually detach - find some friends to do anything, join a group, attend some meet ups, ANYTHING. Dostract your mind so you don't just spend your life focusing on the pain I'm sure you're feeling.
