Hi RD, thanks for your comments. Yes I think the important thing for me just now is to get settled into my job and the new routine, have a full life and keep moving forward. I may just leave H to initiate (or not) just now and see how I feel in a little while..

Sometimes I feel some hope for our sitch and sometimes I feel pretty hopeless. But equally I'm not ready to just move on myself, you know? But then I don't know how we could ever reconcile either. And then H doesn't seem to want to anyway. I think he's now just searching for a new mate with whom to start a family. And I can't really compete with that. But then I think he still loves me and thinks I'm beautiful. Why would he D me? But then it's best not to believe what he says. etc....as you can see, it goes around in my head more than I would like still.

So, I am moving forward and my life is pretty full. I'm reasonably happy with 'my side of the street', but there's always room for more progress. I've just had a good couple of days at work. And today I had to step up to the plate and think on my feet and it all went well. In a way - although I've been doing work for them for a while - it feels like I imagine returning from maternity leave feels. You already know people pretty well, but you just need to settle back in and so on.

Hope you guys all had a good day xx

Last edited by Toots; 05/12/15 06:20 PM.
T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus