We have all been exactly where you are and felt what you are feeling now. I am so sorry that you are in pain. I wish that you and your kids did not have to experience this.
However, each day that goes by you will get stronger and more in control. Are you seeing a therapist or counselor? I did and it did me a world of good. It may be a good idea for you - could you consider it?
Also - remember that your kids NEED YOU, they need you to be the strong one and the one to make rational decisions. You can be that man. I know you can.
Hang in there, chin up my friend. Be patient and carry on. You can do this!
Thanks everyone. Yes I am working with a counselor. Also made an appointment with my nurse practitioner for today to see about upping my anxiety meds.
I think the realization if what is happening is starting to set in. My W has said that she will think about reconsidering and giving me a second chance. But I'm not holding out hope for that.
I'm just so devastated. I never wanted to leave our house. I don't want a divorce. I know that things don't have to be this way. My kids keep asking when I'm coming home. It was only supposed to be three months. Been 6. And if you look back a bit in this thread you can see what I found my W hiding from me and what she said to me yesterday.
I spoke with her today and I want it to be the last time I say anything about us and just wait for her decision.
I simply apologized for the pain I caused her and for not being there for her and the kids. But that isn't the way it is now and will not be that way going forward. And I thanked her for taking time to think about reconsidering and expressed appreciation for that.
It's just an awful situation to be in and we're all in it together. Keep doing the things that give you strength, that help you feel empowered, and give you some peace, even if they only give you a second of each. It's a moment by moment game.
There are a lot of people on here that can chime in with better advice than I can, just know I empathize with you and hope that you take a few deep breaths and know that on some level, this too shall pass.
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
"Guys is there any way I can stop this divorce from happening?"
No. Sorry but that's the brutal, honest answer. If your W wants to D you, then there's nothing you can do. With that being said, you CAN do things that might persuade her otherwise.
You've been at this for a few months. For my W and I, it took over 3 years before she even THOUGHT about even being nice to me. How much can YOU take?
"I need help from the vets: Goals? 180s? How to detach? I feel hopeless like there is no way I can do this."
Everyone's told you what to do. Goals, 180s, detachment. All you want to do is talk. But you don't do anything about it. That's the problem. People telling you to set goals, do a 180, GAL, etc. but you not implementing them.
And I understand your anxiety disorder. I really do. But NO ONE can help you until you start helping yourself.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
