It's always sounded to me like you trust your H to do the right thing financially.
You are right, raliced, I have been trusting him to do the right thing. And with the exception of one chunk of $ about a year ago, I haven't seen anything that would indicate otherwise. But your point is well-taken, just because he has good intentions now doesn't mean he will continue to have them a few years down the road. After all, I trusted him to be faithful and to stay in our M no matter what and we all know how that worked out.
Originally Posted By: rd500
Hi Sunny. You sound vey sure of your road and far be it for me to suggest anything else. Can I ask if you could leave your decision stand for a month or so before you do anything.
Like so many others here it's hard to read your posts sometimes because you obviously still love this man and have tried to DB and work through it. As a pal I'd just like you to be 200 % sure
RD, I'm so glad you chimed in! I promise I'm not doing anything hasty, I'm only compiling paperwork at this point. Neither one of us has ever used the "D" word, ever, not even in temper, not at BD, not at the end of the first S period. It's not something I take lightly, I assure you. And my time frame for this is more than a month, September, in fact. That's the end of the "second" S period. Lots of time to think.
I do still love him. For the first 7 months, I would have swept it all under the rug and trudged on. (I'm not saying that's healthy or sustainable, I'm saying I totally would have done it. )Then he moved out. But even after the first four months of S, if he'd have said "let's try" I'd have given it all I had. Now, I just don't see a way for it to work. Every day that we are S, every day that he ignores me, every day that he shows in a million little ways that I'm not important, my heart hardens a little, RD. Things I put up with because I thought that's what Ws do (and I know I was deluded there but that's what I thought) are no longer acceptable because he no longer comes home to me at night. If I continue to be tied to him, and my love keeps eroding, pretty soon there's going to be nothing left. I just feel like I need to get out now, to protect anything that might be left there. I know that may not make a lot of sense, but that's simply where I am right now.
