We have all been exactly where you are and felt what you are feeling now. I am so sorry that you are in pain. I wish that you and your kids did not have to experience this.
However, each day that goes by you will get stronger and more in control. Are you seeing a therapist or counselor? I did and it did me a world of good. It may be a good idea for you - could you consider it?
Also - remember that your kids NEED YOU, they need you to be the strong one and the one to make rational decisions. You can be that man. I know you can.
Hang in there, chin up my friend. Be patient and carry on. You can do this!
