Jer, I see positives all around you. You've come so far in a very short period of time. I'm glad the position is challenging and keeping your mind focused on it while you are there. You needed a change of scenery and this was the ideal position for you at this time. New position, new friends, new things to think about will help you along the way.
As for forgiveness...you are correct...it is actually for you and I'm glad you've done this. It's more difficult to be angry and become bitter and hateful over what she's done. Life is far too short and you certainly don't want to walk about playing the victim and being bitter all of the time. Forgiving her says a lot about you and I'm happy to see that you've taken the high road. Your wife is going to end up hating herself at some point for the things she's said and done and she will have to find a way to deal w/those feelings when the time comes. She won't understand how you could forgive her and at that time you can give her your honest answer about that.
As for the card...it may take some time, but she will open it and she will keep it. MLCers tend to keep the things that we give them, i.e., wrapping paper, cards, notes, emails, etc. It's their way of going back and touching on what they had. It's a very thin thread of connection even when we are completely gone. She may toss it in the trash so that you can see it, but it will be removed later, so don't get upset if you see it in the trash. But, I don't think she'll do that.
Continue moving forward. I think you are doing a wonderful job of moving forward and carving out a new life for you and the children. I do hope and pray that one day she'll realize what she lost.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
