Feeling so hopeless

[job]

Lucy recently posted this on a thread over on the MLC Forum and I believe it should also be posted here since this is part of what is going on w/the business, etc.

Lucy posted:

"This all feels so hopeless right now. I can see now that what I thought were his attempts at being friendly with me last week, when I helped him out, was just manipulation on his part. It's just heartbreaking.

At this point, there is no way I could be front and center with the business. Emotionally, I just couldn't bear to see what he is flaunting, and his anger would be pushed to limits I couldn't deal with I'm sure. Aside from that, our customers would know the truth of what's going on, all our regulars anyway, he's told them I couldn't handle the business, and that's why he's divorcing me, but they can see through his changes to I'm sure. If he loses it, he loses it. It was his dream to begin with, that he is supposedly so passionate about. He has a secure job to fall back on if he does.

My issues go so much more deeply than just the restaurant. Over the summer someone hit the front of our attached garage of our home, and pushed it off the foundation. I've been sitting here for the last nearly two months with no garage door, and just a tarp covering the opening. He has the nearly $7,000 check for the repairs. One of the customers, who is a contractor, is supposed to be doing the repair, and my H is supposed to help him as an employee.

We have a young family waiting to do a walk through on our home, but the repairs aren't done, and I've been waiting, holding off, because I haven't been sure what is going on. I just don't know what to do. I know I have no desire to speak with H right now."

My comments:

Lucy, why do you feel that him being nice was manipulation? Was it because he's at the point he can't handle things at the business or do you feel that he's using the "nice" card to get you to do what he wants? Does he get angry when you don't do things for him or very quickly?

Well, I see he's using the business as the excuse for the divorce. What a lame excuse to use...but I'm sure the people he has told this excuse to know better. People are on to him, but they don't know how to deal w/him. Some will question his excuse and he'll distance himself from them and others will remain silent, but friendly in order to keep their jobs. At least the excuse wasn't the fact that your purchased bagged salad, i.e., some have said this and please understand, I'm not making fun of your situation at all, but wanted to point out just how stupid some of their excuses can be.

Lucy, if you don't want to be part of the business, then it's time to think about him buying you out or you finding another position elsewhere. What are your qualifications? Have you begun preparing a resume? If not, now is a good time to think about it because it sounds like you are ready to pull the plug. It's not easy working w/an MLCer on a day-to-day basis when they are acting out.

You don't know what to do about the garage...It's time to ask him for the check for the damages to your garage or he needs to make out a check to you in the amount of $7,000 so that you can get a contractor in to repair the damage. My guess is that he's probably spent the money...but I hope that I am wrong on that. Get your garage repaired and go from there.

Lucy, it's time to think about what YOU want. Right now, he's not thinking about you at all...but himself. Time to protect yourself, your assets and layout a plan for your life. There is only one guarantee in this life...you have live your life to the fullest because you never know what tomorrow will bring. If your marriage is meant to be, he will find a way back to you...but it's going to be a long time from now, maybe years. Please do not put your life on hold for him. Today is a gift, a very precious gift...use it wisely.

I'll check back on you later today.