Zues, I do think you'll find the right woman, who matches you intellectually and in the bedroom, and that you'll open up to her and be vulnerable because you are well aware that's necessary. I know you won't settle for someone you can control because what fun is that? I can well imagine the woman you need, there just aren't many of them in your age category, dear. It takes most of us a lot longer to figure those things out.
