I'm going to ask a question and you are of course free to not answer it.
What if OM is just someone she knows who had somewhere she could crash and that now she is stuck there because she is afraid to come back but cant see an alternative or is afraid of being alone. That there really truthfully is (and hasnt been) and EA/PA or anything like it?
What if the whole key thing was OM knew she would be out and arranged a problem that he knew would interfere with your W's plans?
I went through a phase of torturing myself over what my W is doing and who she is with and how much happier her life would be without me. But so much of that is my own insecurities and jealousy talking with only limited facts - now i have the difference that i saw the evidence and my XW has since admitted to OM1 but i also realise now my views about the other OMs is only supported by circumstantial evidence at best.
some of the biggest issues in my marriage (at least in terms of my contribution to its downfall) were about my incessant and destructive rumination as i would mentally torture my self about my own inadequacies which then presented in negative ways.
So this is why i ask those what if questions, because what if the worst feelings you have are truly only in your head? how would you look at your W? how would you see your situation?
My XW doesnt lean on me in the slightest and when i read some of the other situations round here i'm glad of that because i cant imagine how hard that would be for my emotions to manage.
So despite how it might feel to you are doing well
By the way did your L/C ask you what you want from seeing her by any chance?
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
