Go back and re-read what the posters have posted to you, especially what CaliGuy and 25 Years have posted. Read the DB and DR books and if you haven't done the reading homework that Cadet provided to you, then do it. It's imperative that you understand that the more you do a temperature check on the relationship w/him, the more he's going to run the other way. Detaching is difficult, but it can be done because we all have had to learn to do it. Sure, we make mistakes, but we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and continue moving forward.
The amount of energy that you use to try to get him back could be spent on YOU. You are giving him far too much head space that he's not renting. This is YOUR time to work on YOU. You are the only one that can control your destiny and trust me, he will notice changes that you make...but as I have stated to others, those changes will have to become part of your day-to-day life and not just to trick him into returning.
Okay, time to crack open the books and start reading.
BTW, I'm very happy that others have chimed in and got as confused as I was getting about the number of threads you had going. Stick to one thread until you've reached 100 postings/replies and then start a new one. If you have a new idea or something springs into your mind, change your thread subject line within the current thread you are posting to. There is no need to start a new thread because of it.
The road you are traveling is a bumpy one, but I can promise you...if you listen to the posters, your journey will be a bit better than fighting against the advice that is being given. I know, we all think we can fix the spouses, but we can't. They have to fix themselves.
Start writing a new chapter in your life's book today. It's a blank page and we want to learn about YOU.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
