Surrendering this battle to win the war.

[Pyrite]

So it's not about "whether" to forgive if whether a spouse "Deserves" it; at all.

It's about how WE want to live our lives. It actually has nothing to do with them.

once you take ^^ this in, you'll have a whole lot of free time to live your life well, b/c holding onto your anger now, b/c at some level you believe you'd be "letting her off the hook" is hurting you way way more than anyone else.

Consider this:

**Holding onto anger to "punish" someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire -

to get smoke in their eyes.**

This is awesome 25. Exactly describes it. And yes you're spot on about me focusing on "letting her off the hook". Your post clarifies things for me. If you have time can you check in on Smothy. She's spinning her wheels a bit and could do with some of your expert advice.