Wow that is long time. It seems like I am having a problem detaching. I think I am trying to control or reassure myself that he is still around. I find myself trying to figure out what he means and what he is doing. Look at my signature and understand a more realistic timeline. My h dropped a bomb FIRST in 12/04 and we sep for the most part late in '05 and more officially in '06...truly began piecing and restoring the marriage a few YEARS later...but now it's over 30 years of marriage and I'm glad I stuck it out (But no I don't "always" feel that way, just mostly and I accept that is as good as it gets for most of us. I'm content with that).
Your timeline is both unrealistic and harmful to your cause. It does reek of impatience and you will need to look hard and dig deep to see if that is a character trait in you that has hurt your m.
The real journey in life is an inward one. We all had to dig deep if we were to overcome this ordeal.
I read detachment rules. It is hard for me. Every day I have to start over with it but today is the day no going back.
Please know that it was hard for ALL of us.
Many here have several children and or are financially dependent on our WAS and thus detachment is even harder. And terrifying at almost a biological level.
None of this is easy for anyone. Yet we do it, or we lose our marriages for good.
And even if we do GAL & detach, we still might not get our spouses back. All we know for sure is that if we do the real work we need to do,
we will invariably become better, more loving people.
For me, that^^ was enough - but I ended up with a lot more.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
