From 2006 to 2014 she has worked in very abusive environments. Toxic coworkers ruined things from '06 to '10. She found a new job in '10 but worked the most brutal hours until '14.
During that time we raised 2 kids with no help. I was extremely critical at for a year in '13 I believe. She demonized me saying that I was always abusive (now it's 3 years abusive and that we never loved eachother for our entire 10 year marriage).
She ran into the OM in Jan'14 and he preyed on her.
During her childhood her father was, according to her, physically abusive to her and her mother. Her mother would stand by and do nothing about the abuse and she hates her for it.
She has a sister and her sister reconciled with her father. My wife disowned him and I'm not sure what the OM has been pumping her mind with, but whatever it is, he got to her. He really played into her vulnerability (I'm guessing).
This is a tragic story.
Her sister told her that she burned bridges with her dad and now she burned bridges with me her H. She has always ran when things got rough. Instead of dealing with a situation, she just absorbs it until she can't handle it anymore and then it's too late. She fights and runs away.
Now I look back and I see my role. She hated her father. She ran from him through me. She hated me. So she ran to the OM.
So in 2014 she did a complete makeover. She got mentoring. She was under the fog of an affair. She tells me she was free for the first time. That freedom came at a price, neglect of children and M. She began seeing him and going to jazz clubs leaving me and the children behind. Restaurants etc. I suffered and the children didn't know why mommy would leave on Friday and they would see her until the weekend.
I've read what it entails for an MLC. It's depressing. There is no winning this unless I play the long game. I know that once she goes, she'll run and won't come back.
