skh I think you would really benefit from sticking to one thread ... its hard enough to follow people and almost impossible with you cranking up several threads for us to put together timelines and see how your story is unfolding ... just food for thought.
AMEN...can we please stay HERE and make this skydive's thread (it is yours, right?) and Not keep jumping around.
No offense but I find myself annoyed that it takes a lot of effort to try and help you.
There are tons of folks here who are Not difficult to follow so that's why I bother saying this.
Stay here and we can try to follow you and give you advice.
Also you MUST read the books that form the basis of this site.
If you are reading Div Busting (or Div Remedy, which is sort of just the 2nd edition of the first book but to me, more helpful)
then let us know.
Otherwise most of what you read here will be useless.
As it is, you seem to gloss over most suggestions and repeat yourself a lot in that nearly all or 90% of your posts are about what your h
is doing OR what he MIGHT be feeling/thinking/planning.
I need to hear about what YOU are doing to show him that marriage to you can be better/different than before.
You said in one of your posts something to the effect of how HE "SHOULD be the one to change or make the effort b/c he's the one with the issues" which is false. there are several reasons that's not correct but for now, I doubt you can really take that all in.
However, He's not here trying to save the marriage; you are.
So You have the "issues" and I can't help but believe that most men don't just leave their happy families or marriage with a son, for "no reason". No walk away spouse returns to a marriage they left
unless they believe
the marriage can be better/different than before.
It's the LBS's job to demonstrate that it can be better/different.
Yes, YOU must change. (And join the club! WE ALL had to adapt to a new life b/c our old marriages passed away. For me that wasn't all bad). The good news is that since you are all you control, you can make this happen.
That's actually wonderful news. You are NOT powerless in this situation.
Can you tell us ANY of the past complaints he's had about the relationship?
Even if you don't believe they are valid (but it's better if you think some are) tell us what HE WOULD SAY if He were here complaining about you...
and we can go from there.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
